For today’s kindness suggestion, we are focusing on kindness to ourselves by being willing to ask others for help. So many people struggle with being vulnerable enough to reach out and ask someone else for help (myself included), and yet so many of us who are hesitant about asking others enjoy helping others. Why is there such a disconnect between a willingness to give help and receive it?
While a complete assessment of why this disconnect exists is far too much for a blog post to cover, the importance of asking ourselves why this disconnect exists within us remains. Is it because we feel so much of our self-worth is tied up in proving that we are useful to others? Or is it from our own families where we were expected to give more than we could comfortably spare? Or is it just a simple desire to make sure the people around us have what they need and we enjoy providing that for them?
Regardless of the reason for why we hesitate when asking for help, being kind to ourselves through our willingness to receive help from others is an essential skill worth developing. It’s also worth noting that many people are thrilled to provide help to others, but they likely feel uncertain about how they can support the people they love. Asking for help directly removes the barrier of uncertainty that many people feel.
If you want to read more about this, there is new research that suggests that we often underestimate people’s willingness to help.